Can I just hold this picture up when it’s my turn to state my vows?
THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.FUCK YES.
well this got me all hot and bothered.
I love Tumblr.
This is amazing.
asparagus, cashew, and greens pizza
i’m always putting off making pizza dough from scratch, but this recipe was so easy and fast i had to try it! i’m sure i’ll make proper dough (the kind you knead and give time to rise) in the future but i couldn’t help it, i want pizza nowwww.
- mix together 1 tbsp yeast with 1/2 cup warm water, until dissolved. let it stand for about five minutes.
- add in 1 tsp salt, 2 tbsp oil or melted earth balance, and 1 1/4 cups flour. stir until it’s a consistent dough.
- roll the dough out onto a floured countertop, and place it on a flat pan or stone.
- on top of the dough, brush some olive oil, spread on some finely minced garlic, and add on some fresh (or dried) herbs - for this pizza i used the last of our fresh thyme and tarragon.
- bake at 425F for 5 minutes.
- add on cut asparagus and little bits of cashew cheese. put it back in the oven for 10-15 minutes, or until the bottom (and some of the top!) is golden brown.
sprinkle some shredded greens (i used radish greens) on top of the finished pizza. cut carefully with a very sharp knife, or a pizza roller, if you’re feeling fancy. this dough recipe makes 1 small-medium pizza, so if you’re looking to feed more than one or two people, i suggest doubling it.
i LOVED this pizza because the asparagus was perfectly cooked, the cashew cheese was a little browned on the outside, while still moist on the inside, and the garlic and herbs smelled so good. hope you enjoy it too!
Wow this looks really good! I want to make this
Photo by Josh